A Bride’s Future Mother-in-Law Demanded That She Change Her “Disrespectful” Wedding Date After All Deposits Were Paid (2024)

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The bride's dilemma is going viral on Reddit.


Lilly Blomquist

A Bride’s Future Mother-in-Law Demanded That She Change Her “Disrespectful” Wedding Date After All Deposits Were Paid (1)

Lilly is the associate editor at Brides. She joined the staff in 2021 and covers real weddings, wedding décor, wedding news, and more.Her work is also featured in The Knot, The Bash, and Tracy Anderson's The Edit and Tracy Anderson Mind, Body, and Soul.

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Published on 04/11/24 12:54PM

A Bride’s Future Mother-in-Law Demanded That She Change Her “Disrespectful” Wedding Date After All Deposits Were Paid (2)

Key Takeaways

  • A bride-to-be posted on Reddit's “Am I the A------?" subreddit to ask her if her future mother-in-law, who is demanding that she change her wedding date, is in the wrong.
  • She and her fiancé ran the date by her mother-in-law for approval, which she gave, before they put down their deposit.
  • Now, the groom's mother is asking her son's fiancée to change the date, which falls two days after the anniversary of a family member's death.
  • The Redditor and her fiancé are paying for most of their wedding.
  • The Reddit community concluded that the groom's mother was the one acting unreasonably.

A bride-to-be and her fiancé, who got engaged after seven years of dating, have been busy planning their wedding—along with help from their families. After the couple found their venue, booked their date, and put down all of their deposits, the bride’s future mother-in-law demanded that they find another day to tie the knot, an incident that is puzzling her son’s fiancée. To figure out whether or not she is the one at fault, the bride took to Reddit on the popular subreddit “Am I the A------?" on April 9, 2024.

The Redditor explained that she and her fiancé have had many open discussions with their families about their vision and their ideal date. “When we announced the wedding date, she had no issue,” the poster recalled of her fiancé's mother. “She didn’t say a thing.” Then, after the couple put down all of the deposits on their venue, food, DJ, and photographer, her future mother-in-law demanded that the pair choose a new date due to its proximity to the day her child passed away. While the two of them were in the same room, tuning into a Zoom meeting with her wedding photographer, according to the bride-to-be, the groom’s mother texted her, “Why did you pick that date for your wedding? My daughter died two days before that.”

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The poster explained that her fiancé’s mother lost her first child 30 years ago to SIDs (sudden infant death syndrome), which she said was a “horrible thing and I would never want that to happen to anyone.” But since their wedding wouldn’t be on the actual anniversary of her child’s death, the bride-to-be and her fiancé decided to proceed. The Redditor later discovered that the wedding date she and her future husband chose was also the birthday of her late uncle, who she described as “like a father to me.” “I became even more attached to that date,” she revealed.

The bride noted that she and her fiancé are paying for a majority of the wedding, along with “a little help here and there from my parents and in-laws,” she wrote. At the end of her post, the Redditor asked the online community if she was wrong “for thinking she is out of line since she waited until after we put all the deposits down to say something?”

Those who tuned in sided with the bride and concluded that her future mother-in-law was being unreasonable. The most-liked comment said, “You’ve picked a date which is not the anniversary of the death of your mil’s child, and you gave fair notice of the date so people could feed in, and now the date is locked in by deposits. You are NTA for sticking to the plan.” Many were confused why the groom’s mother chose that exact time to express her concerns about the date and why she went straight to her future daughter-in-law instead of speaking to her son in person. Others suspected that the move was a power play. “What a strange way to say, ‘This wedding isn’t about you, it’s about me,’” someone wrote.

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A Bride’s Future Mother-in-Law Demanded That She Change Her “Disrespectful” Wedding Date After All Deposits Were Paid (2024)
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