Who Plans the Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, the bride’s family was not supposed to host the shower because it made it appear like they were demanding gifts. But this etiquette rule has changed in recent years, and the bridal shower can now be hosted by the bride’s mother, her sister, her maid of honor, one of her bridesmaids or any other close friend or family member. A group of the bride’s friends can also work together to plan and host the event.
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Who to Invite to the Bridal Shower?
Only guests who are invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. Try to keep the guest list short—the shower should be a much smaller affair than the wedding, with just the bride’s close friends in attendance. It is acceptable to throw the bride multiple showers, especially for brides with friends and family spread out over many locations, but try to invite guests to just one shower each. If there are a few guests who end up getting invited to multiple showers, remind them that they only have to bring a gift to the first shower they attend.
When to Host the Bridal Shower
The bridal shower should take place between two weeks to two months before the wedding. Before you set a date, confer with the bride and the bridal party to ensure that the date will work for everyone involved.
Bridal shower invitations should go out six to eight weeks before the event. Include common details like date and location, but make sure to mention the wedding registry as well. You should have one person in the bridal party receive all of the RSVP cards—this will help you keep everything organized.
Bridal Shower Responsibilities for the Hostess
As the hostess, you’ll have a number of bridal shower responsibilities both before and during the event. In the weeks leading up to the shower, you should create a menu for the party, and you should also put together a list of games and activities if you’re opting to play any. In addition, you can decide on a theme and gather decorations for the shower.
When the shower begins, it is nice to have someone greeting guests at the door. You could do the greeting, or you can assign this job to one of the other bridesmaids. During the shower, mingle with the guests, and make sure everyone is enjoying themselves.
When the bride is opening her presents, it’s a good idea to sit next to her and take note of everything she receives and who gave her each gift. This way, she’ll be able to easily send thank you cards after the shower.
Bridal Shower Etiquette for Brides
As the bride, it’s against proper etiquette for you to throw your own shower. Let your friends or family members take charge of the day. Focus on your wedding, and only offer your input on the shower if you’re asked.
While you’re at the shower, be sure to mingle with all of your guests, and try to spend equal time with everyone there. You don’t want anyone to think that they’ve been forgotten. When the shower is winding down, you should make sure to thank everyone for coming.
After the shower, send thank you cards right away. If you wait too long, the shower thank you cards may be forgotten as you begin focusing more on your wedding. Your thank you cards should be handwritten, and they should mention each guest’s gift by name. You should also get a small thank you gift for your hostess, and along with the gift, include a thank you card.
Co-Ed Shower Etiquette
Co-ed wedding showers are becoming increasingly popular. If you decide to throw one of these showers, be sure that the theme and decor speak to the couple’s common interests. For example, if the couple loves to travel, you could use antique suitcases or maps in your décor. The co-ed shower should always be designed with both the bride and groom in mind.
When it comes to hosting a co-ed shower, both the bridesmaids and the groomsmen should get involved. These two groups should work together to create a shower that the couple will love. If this large number of people becomes too unwieldy, one member of the bridal party and one groomsman can host together.
A wedding shower is a fun way to congratulate a bride and groom on their big day. These wedding shower etiquette rules will help you plan and execute a memorable bridal or co-ed shower.
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FAQs
The Traditional Bridal Shower Host
The maid of honor isn't the only option, however. Anyone who is close to the bride—including her mother, sister, cousin, grandma, or future mother-in-law—can host. It used to be that immediate family members were never named as official hosts.
Is it proper for the mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? ›
Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.
What are some bridal shower questions? ›
20 Fun Questions to Ask About the Bride
- What was the bride's first job?
- When was the bride's first kiss and who was it with?
- Who was her celebrity crush as a teen?
- What was her favorite subject at school?
- What was the name of the bride's first pet?
As the mother of the bride, you've likely been tasked with giving a speech not only at your daughter's wedding, but also at her bridal shower. This is a great opportunity to truly highlight your daughter and speak about the relationship you two share.
Does the host of a bridal shower give a gift? ›
It is customary for the hostess to get the bride a gift for the shower, just like everyone else. You may want to coordinate the buying of a major gift, or you might want to give her something small but very nice just from you if the shower is setting you back financially.
What is the mother of the bride responsible for? ›
A key mother of the bride task on the day of the wedding is to host the reception with the other parents. Take the time to chat to guests, thank them for coming, ensure everything is happening as it should be and just generally make sure the day is running smoothly.
What is the role of the mother of the bride at the bridal shower? ›
Whether she's handling your bridal shower or greeting out-of-town guests once they arrive in town for your nuptials, the mother of the bride is the official hostess and should focus on helping each attendee feel welcome.
What does mother in law give at bridal shower? ›
Consider heirloom-worthy serveware or a handmade book featuring your family's secret recipes. Alternatively, opt for items she'll likely need for the wedding. Think: a luxurious getting-ready robe, something blue or travel essentials for the honeymoon.
Does the mother of the bride give a gift to her daughter? ›
While it is traditional (although not obligatory) for the mother and father of the bride to receive a thank you gift from the newlyweds on the big day, a little memento from the bride's parents to their daughter is also becoming more popular.
What is protocol for bridal showers? ›
Traditionally, the gift etiquette is that the guests will sit around the bride-to-be as she opens each of her gifts one by one. While she is opening the gifts, the maid of honor or a member of the bridal party will keep a list of each of the gifts opened and whom they were from.
What should a bride include in her speech? In your bridal shower speech, talk about your journey leading up to the wedding, share special memories with the attendees, and express your love for your partner. You can also mention how your friends and family have supported you during this time.
What does bride say at bridal shower? ›
"A bride should thank whoever hosted or planned the event, whether it's her bridal party, sister or best friends," Chertoff says. "She may also take this time to thank her mom and her future mother-in-law."
Does the mother of the bride greet guests? ›
It's the mother of the bride's responsibility to greet all the guests she knows, and introduce herself to those she doesn't. The MOB should be part of the receiving line (if the couple is having one), and if not, she should go table to table to say hello to guests and thank them for attending.
Does the mother of the bride give a gift to the bride? ›
Yes, it's traditional for the parents of the bride to give her a gift on her wedding day, such as jewelry, money, or something sentimental. This is a way for parents to show their love and wish her well as she starts her new life.
What does a mother of the bride say to her daughter? ›
"Talk about how proud you are of her and how amazing she has turned out to be," says Lauren Smith, founder of EventSmith Planning and Productions in Houston, Texas. You can also share an anecdote or memory about your daughter—talk about something you love doing together or reminisce on a cute story from her childhood.
Does the mother in law throw a bridal shower? ›
Answer: Tradition says that a shower shouldn't be thrown by the bride's immediate relatives, including future in-laws, because it might give the impression that you're asking for gifts.
What is the protocol for a bridal shower? ›
Traditionally, the gift etiquette is that the guests will sit around the bride-to-be as she opens each of her gifts one by one. While she is opening the gifts, the maid of honor or a member of the bridal party will keep a list of each of the gifts opened and whom they were from.
What does the mother of the groom give at the bridal shower? ›
Think: a luxurious getting-ready robe, something blue or travel essentials for the honeymoon. And if you find yourself unsure about what to gift the bride as her future mother-in-law, check the couple's wedding registry for their specific needs.
Does the guy go to the bridal shower? ›
It's totally up to you and your fiancé to decide whether he will attend the bridal shower. Modern etiquette suggests that he show up toward the end of the shower to say hello and help stock up the car full of gifts. Some men even drop in for a few fun games.
